Matador Review

A Quarterly Missive of Alternative Concern


"Now that I only drink water"


the world is full of wonder.


Somewhere near Cairo a baby is born

with a single eye in its forehead.


Although it has no ears (or nose) and is not expected to survive,

the parents are overjoyed,

                             believing it a gift from Allah,


the beneficent, the merciful,

and a Shopkeeper with a strict policy of no returns.


In Dharamsala, the 14th Dalai Lama

blesses the union of Richard Gere and his third wife,


a wealthy socialite from Madrid.

Sources close to the couple say they share a common love

                                                   of altruism, meditation, and good wine.


And on the final episode of The Bachelor,

the guileless kindergarten teacher from Dallas


is pitted against the pragmatic realtor from Portland,

who is explaining to the bachelor


that her family was so poor

she straightened her teeth with her parent’s

                                                        expired credit card.


In a hospital nursery crib, young Polyphemus stirs,

blinks once, and exhales ponderously

                                                through the cave that is now his mouth--


while the Kindergarten teacher confides to the camera

that when the blade dropped

she was just about to fall in love.



"Jamaican Honeymoon"


Tomorrow your footprints will be raked clean,

But today you are floating in the pool

With a frozen Pina Colada.


The pool waiters babble in patwa

While on the balcony a grackle pecks indignantly

At your remaindered breakfast.


Too much bagel, not enough toast.

The bluebird of happiness has darkened considerably,

Prefers champagne to rum, and wants you to know.


Your schedule today is severe:

History in the morning; Nature in the afternoon.

The Tour of Life here runs in reverse.


You will visit the Anglican Church of St. James

(Once the slave’s hospital). And later see the vault

Where the slaves burned Massa’s money---


And the cottonwood tree

Where the slaves were hanged.

No, you will not save the dolphins.


But while snorkeling at a meet and greet,

One frisky bull will hump your leg.

No sea urchins will give you a wedding gift


And the pedicurist knows all the

Ins and outs of pruning Jefe's feet.

You will survive the couple’s scavenger hunt,


Drain martinis with a plasterer

From New Jersey, and sing one too many

Choruses at the piano bar.


Stumble graciously beneath the upturned palms

And pee merrily under the stars before dawn’s

Curly light greets you with its rosy hammer.


Your hangover will not go out with the tide,

But over dry toast you will follow the wiggling

Backside of a bridesmaid, jogging on the beach,


Powering up for her first Sunrise of the day.

Poolside, the ponytailed nonagenarian

From Cleveland will be attended to  


So sweetly by his nursing Rasta queen.

And as Ackee trees bow down to meet you,

Peacocks will strut among the fancy deck chairs.


Such Paradise! A garden where Jah

Lets the animals name themselves.

And the Ark never loses sight of land.


This trebled martini of a heaven,

A kingdom peaceable, where The Help

Speak in tongues with words


Which passeth all understanding.

Though what you hear is not for you to say.

It is Almighty Jah


Whispering to his sunburned children.

And the language He is speaking

Is the language of slaves.



D.G. Geis lives in Houston, Texas. He has degrees from the University of Houston (BA English) and California State University (MA Philosophy). His poetry has appeared in 491 Magazine, Lost Coast, Blue Bonnet Review, The Broadkill Review, A Quiet Courage, SoftBlow, Blinders, Burningword, Poetry Scotland (Open Mouse), Crosswinds, Scarlet Leaf,  Sweet Tree, Atrocity Exhibition, Driftwood Press, Tamsen, Rat's Ass, Bad Acid, Crack the Spine, Collapsar, and The Write Place at the Write Time. He will be featured in a forthcoming Tupelo Press anthology and is winner of Blue Bonnet Review's Fall 2015 Poetry Contest. He is editor-at-large of Tamsen.